esctasy by morning glory

Some time you wake in the morning and you are cranky and blue, maybe you haven’t had much sleep…but the dogs will NOT allow a morning without walk, rain or shine and yesterday was rain. They started on the crest of the hill, an unusual place as they are usually in a shady cove, a feminine place. Then I remember we had a big women’s gathering in this very spot many years ago and it is full of feminine energy.

And every patch that I had been watching over the last month grew exponentially overnight…areas as big as my living room covered with their spiraling beauty, caressing every plant within range…this was abundance like I have never seen…this was beauty like I had never seen…this was joy like I had never felt. I know that this is a once in a lifetime event, that the conditions are perfect and only occur a handful of times a century. I call my neighbor and tell her she has to get out here before they close their faces in the day.

I usually don’t pick them, but there were so many that I did, and wrapped them around my neck like a lei and breathed them in and beed with them and I even took a selfie because I knew the bloom would fade quickly now…and by the time I got home and put them in water they had all retreated to get to the business of propagation.

Here is my new self-portrait, one that I will use when I am supposed to provide a picture of myself…I have for many years provided the shadow pictures that used to be and currently are the banner to this blog, because I really have been and felt like a shadow…but…maybe I am ready to show my face and maybe the morning glories will whisper how…to shine even a fraction of the joy that they bless this morning with…I am in their debt forever.

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And a fat toad that played in the rain yesterday:

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And a dear friend that has fallen in the last few days having drunk too much rain and gotten too top heavy. She will linger and feed the desert for a while yet, but soon her mutated beauty will fall back into the earth:

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And this awesome cross in the sky the other morning:

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desert discernment

But how would/could someone weep at the site of a few puny flowers that you can barely discern? Another lesson from morning glory…I wish you could experience this, but even if you lived in Tucson, you would have to get up and out early before the sun shines their faces shut and they curl up into oblivion. And you would have to be in one of the deep shady washes in the foothills, where these rare creatures occasionally emerge with just the right conditions…and emerge they do…vining, spiraling, caressing, hugging all the support plants around them that they decorate like heavenly Christmas trees…

spiral hug
spiral hug

Ruminating on my bad (no job, no money)/good (lots of time and freedom) luck of no ‘work’ for 6 years now…I get to FEED daily on the desert and see/be with the abysmal scarcity…and there is something to eat every day, even if what is to eat is seeming nothingness…

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I was excitedly telling friends about the morning glory, my usual emoting self…and I could sense their chuckling that I THOUGHT I was seeing such awesome abundance…they live in a rainforest and the apparent life there is overwhelming! “If you can See all that in the desert, imagine what you would See in other places…”

the eye of god in the full moon rise last night...color added...
the eye of god in the full moon rise last night…color added…

I am deeply appreciative today of the scarcity of a desert and the opportunity to be totally immersed in it and deeply connected to it on a daily basis for many years…wow, quite a shift from whining about no work and all the seeming lack…

this magenta flower is but a quarter inch
this magenta flower is but a quarter inch

It is only in the contrast to the seeming lack of the desert that I could GET the abundance there/here…to weep morning after morning while the morning glories are here…it is just a small window of opportunity, 10 days in 2000 days, that they bless this place with their glory.

translucent bug adoring the glory of the morning
translucent bug adoring the glory of the morning

This helps me to BE with the global situation and the struggle and fear of several friends right now. There IS light in this darkness and perhaps the only purpose of the predominance of dark is to teach us to …See the Light…

my shadow in the deep...there are morning glory on the ground here, but hard to see in this photo
my shadow in the deep…there are morning glory on the ground here, but hard to see in this photo

Also deep gratitude for the followers of this blog and especially the commenters whether it be formal on the site or in conversation with you…you are my light!

paradoxical scream

Yummy…snuggling into bed at the end of a lovely cooling rainstorm last night, listening to the drizzle hit the balcony outside the French door next to me, on the very edge of sleep… and a loud screeching pulls be back quickly to full consciousness. Scramble out on to the balcony…what is going on…screaming continues. The cry seems to start on my left, then swoop to the right and settle into the wash just 50 feet away. Is it a young owl that is practicing or calling its mom? But it continues and seems to have a element of terror and fear. Is it a young javalina squealing because it has been caught? After several minutes, silence. My husband thinks it sounded like a cat, young cat. Is there a mountain lion and her cub ‘that’ close to the house? I go back to bed, not sure how I feel, a range of emotions coursing through.

This morning I wonder how ‘safe’ it is out there and we walk skirting the general direction of the last screams. Then I pick up the scent of skunk and remembered one of the best laughs i have ever had along with a full range of emotions, with a skunk ‘incident’.  We went out to relax in the hot tub one evening and turned on the heater and there was a terrible squealing as we saw two skunks, tails on fire, running off into the desert, leaving a trail of fire behind. Their ‘tail fire’ seemed to extinguish 30-40 feet away, but there was my husband, running out buck naked with a hose, putting out the fire in the brush near the house…hope those skunks are OK…

And the morning glory in the wash were truly glorious after the rain…then, under their spell, I thought it possible that one of them opened her face last night, felt the delicious quench of the rain and cried out in ecstasy…

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There are some things we will never know no matter how curious we are, no matter how much we try to figure it out, no matter how we pursue an answer to the mystery. To see the paradox of intensely desiring to know the truth yet the truth being impossible to know…this seems to apply to so much of life right now…especially the mystery of why humans do what they do…

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Wondering if this baby rattler ate that gorgeous horny toad that has been hanging out under this bush. Can’t imagine how it got its mouth opened wide enough to consume whatever is bulging in its gut.

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